The Bad Touch Trio in A Mad Kitchen
by sydia05
Summary: What happens when you add the Bad Touch Trio, and two angry countries in a kitchen...total chaos and shenanigans. Little one shot I wrote about the other day. Human-AU, One Shot, no cursing Romano only some bad names,oh and there's France...enough said.


Up and down, up and down, up and down. Lovino watched the same fish swim up and down the same part of the tank for a good five minutes. Lovino had been told to meet him right in front of a restaurant a good fifteen minutes. Of course, Lovino had been running late but that was coming close to ten minutes was this him, well...Lovi's brother had decided to set him up on a blind date. Feliciano had decided it was about time for his brother to have a significant other. Yet Lovino guessed he should have expected this. It was the sixth time anyway.

Well, there's no reason for me to be sitting here freezing my butt off because some idiota decided not to show up. Lovino sighed before dialing up his best friend's number. Two rings and he picked up, "He bailed on ya huh?" Leave it to Matthew to know exactly what was going on in his life. "Yeah, I'll be there in a few minutes, stupid potatoes staying with mi fratello tonight". A sigh could be heard on the other end of the line. The other potato was probably at Matthew's house but knowing him he would either kick him out or make him stay in the other room was Lovino was there. "I'll see you soon. Hey, are you sure you don't want a ride? "The line was silent for a second before Lovino sighed again, ( why is this writing full of sighs?!), and gave Matthew the address.

Twenty minutes later the two were settled on the couch with snacks, wine, and a couple of really bad movies. Not the the content was bad, the producers were just bad at making good movies. This was a common pass time between the two. They could make fun of bad movies for hours on end. As long as the snacks and drinks never ran out, neither did the fun. Lovino was right about one thing, the other potato was at Matt's, and as predicted Matt had made him stay away in the other room.

Around ten o'clock the doorbell rang. Matt and Lovi had given up on movies because they had no more snacks. Currently, they were having a cook-off in the kitchen. So neither really heard the doorbell or noticed when Gilbert opened the door or noticed when they started being watched, or when the self-proclaimed Bad Touch Trio started placing bets on who would win, or when they started sneaking one by one into the kitchen to taste test. In fact, they only noticed the trio when all three of them started competing to get noticed. By the way, Gilbert totally won that contest.

"What do you think you're doing?" Lovino was poised ready to hit someone with a rolling pin while Matthew had frying pan in hand, (he had gotten some lessons from Elizabeta). Gilbert looked up from army crawling across the kitchen floor. "Ummm, inspecting for dust bunnies?" Two identical forehead slaps could be heard coming from the hallway. "How many of you idiotas are there?"

Please note no one wants to deal with an angry Lovi, and even less people want to deal with an angry Matthew.

"Mi tomate, please do not be mad at us". Of course Antonio, the idiota, had to speak first, it was hard for Lovino to stay mad at him.

"Ja, no one wants a frying pan to the face!" There it was, all it took was one word from potato number two to set Lovino off. A silent nod was passed between Matthew and Lovino. They set their weapons down, and the bad touch trio physically relaxed. Matthew went back to cooking while Lovino sent glares in the trio's direction, than he too returned to cooking.

"If you guys want to be our judges, then food will be done in aboot a few minutes!" Matthew had not only yell to the others, but he had let the accent slip. Lucky for him none of the trio embers had noticed, they were to busy waiting for the food to taste. Five minutes later, Matthew and Lovino brought out their dishes. Matt had made pancakes and apple pie. Lovi had made some pasta and cannolis. The trio dug into the food, not noting Matthew and Lovino walking away and snickering.

Three minutes later, they heard the first shouts.

Let it be known, Matthew and Lovino were super mad at the trio members for interrupting there hangout time. They were so mad in fact, that they sabotaged the food with slow release ghost chili peppers. Also there may or may not have been some hot sauce mixed in too.

Of course the fun would have stopped if the trio as allowed the relief of milk or water. Good news though, Matthew had used up the last of the milk and refilled the bottle with a special brand of white hot sauce, (don't ask me where he got it), oh and he turned off the water for the kitchen.

Lets just say the Bad touch trio learned two things that day:

Never mess with Lovino and Mathews chill time and it is possible to get first degree burns from hot sauce.


End file.
